Would it make a difference?

I was in desperate need of an oil change so I headed to Jiffy Lube on my way home from work today. I made my way into the waiting area where there was one other customer, a man wearing business clothes in his 20s as well. He was on the phone when I took my seat but soon after ended the call. Endless coverage of the events from Friday were playing on the TV screen and he made a comment towards me "I can't believe it, so crazy huh?" or something to that affect.

I have to be honest, by this point in the day I was rundown, overwhelmed with life decisions and feeling like I wanted to cry and throw a little girl tantrum. So all I could really muster was a "yeah, so sad."

A couple minutes later cell phone rang and it was my sister calling. I answered but then felt this nudge on my heart saying "don't you think talking on the phone in this small waiting room is a little rude?" and it was. Especially after this man had tried to engage in a conversation.

And honestly this may seem ridiculous to some, but I felt terrible for talking on the phone for the next 5 minutes in front of him. No I didn't know him and no I was not obligated to speak to him but I think that's a lot of what is wrong with our mentality these days. We've gotten so inside our little worlds that we don't realize a short conversation in a waiting room with another human could maybe be a moment for encouragement, enlightenment, who knows.

So I have to ask myself. Would it make a difference if I had said how I really feel towards the tragedy that occurred on Friday? Would it make a difference if I had offered more than a measly, half-hearted, "yeah, so sad." Would it make a difference if I had instead shared my faith by stating "yes, it is so sad; it is all the more evidence that we live in a broken world and how desperately we need Jesus, our Savior." And yes he might have looked at me blankly and thought, man she's coo-coo crazy BUT it may have been a moment where his whole perspective changed.

So I ask you to consider with me; would it make a difference if we engaged in conversations with those around us as if it was our one opportunity to change their lives forever?

I think it would.

Oh cross that lifts and holds my head

This song changes my heart every time I listen to it.

Be blessed by its truth today.

He loves you with a love that will not let go.

"And this is the will of God, that I should not lose even one of all those he has given me, but that I should raise them to eternal life at the last day." -John 6:39

My love I will keep you by My power alone

Lately life is all kinds of mixed up turned around. Even the choices I make that I think are aligning with what God wants for me don't seem to add up. Nothing is quite making any sense and to be completely honest, up until yesterday I was clinging to the last bit of control I have over my life.

And God being God allows me the free will to attempt to control my life. To attempt to be perfect and strive and strain at making my life make sense. Because He loves me, He allows me to make silly choices like chopping all of my hair off in some ridiculous effort to strip myself of all selfishness or vanity and then reminds me ever so lovingly, by allowing my bible to fall into a bowl of water, that what is on the outside cannot change what is on the inside.

Because whether my hair is short or long it doesn't change the fact that on the inside my heart has been growing weary. And just because my bible is now wrinkled and worn does not change the fact that it is the key to all of my weariness.

And He loves me enough, He-the creator of the universe, the lover of my soul, the healer of my brokenness, the restoration for my sinful life, the Savior and Abba Father loves little old me so much that He would allow me to run myself into the ground trying to gain control just to have me fall at His feet and relinquish all control into His open hands and lay my weary heart in His arms.

And just like that He begins to restore me.

And suddenly losing all control feels like gaining my whole life back. Because the truth of it all is I don't need to know where I am headed because I know the One who does. And all He really asks of me is to trust Him.

And I do.